Curated chaos with a ribbon on top.
Despite all the hopes and conversations, Tuesday didn’t come to pass. Mr C told me Sunday that he was going to call my mother then couldn’t, then he was going to call her on Monday, and didn’t. So I was about ready to go nuclear on his ass, but it was my mother who told me to stand down.
She told me that some people lie and make excuses because they lack confidence, and she gathered he might be one of those. Instead, she told me to drop it and carry on like it was never mentioned. Noble of her, but it doesn’t get her garden sorted.
Of course, even in spite of his broken promise, that hasn’t stopped Mr C from being around me regularly. We spoke Monday, and I told him of Sir JGood’s joke of him “having” me. Let’s lay the truth out, once and for all.
Mr C seemed horrified, almost as though he found that thought completely preposterous. He acted as though it was crazy talk, which is fine, because his reaction to me tells me he’s not my “type” either – I’m not into guys who can’t handle people’s feelings with grace and decorum.
So it seems Mr C isn’t into me, and the only thing he really wants me stroking is his ego.
Yet and in spite of that, that didn’t stop Mr C hammering on my door on Tuesday, no sooner than I’d had my groceries delivered and about some emergency he supposedly had. I smile.
“Ah, Mr C, I just knew you couldn’t resist” I tease.
Emergency solved, Mr C goes from a tone of panic to light-hearted conversation. About a friend with a cleaning business who cleaned a “hundreds of millions (of pounds), gold-entwined Persian rug”, or something.
“Sounds cool, hey, I have to go put my shopping away” I say. Master has told me to start making excuses with Mr C, and right here, I have the perfect one – frozen food.
There has been another, unfortunate development: Mum’s spine surgery has been cancelled after her surgeon passed away suddenly Monday evening. He wasn’t even very old – late forties – so it caused understandable shock for his family, friends and patients alike. Fortunately and despite this setback, Mum is taking it fairly well. I think she’s realised that a setback in her surgery is still nothing up to the heartbreak of losing a loved one.
Yesterday was Sir’s birthday, and even with a big distance between us, there’s a kind of emotional closeness between us now. Sir said that he was “flattered” by my last post, and I’m happy with that: I’m happy that he’s happy, and that we understand one another now.
I’m happy too, by the way. Very happy in fact. After all of the trials and tribulations of my past, I have someone in my life now who supports me, encourages me, makes me laugh and can handle me (ha 😉 ) at my fullest. Someone with whom I no longer think just about the present, but about the future too. Someone who I don’t see my life without.
So we play in this kind of hypothetical space now, not directly or literally, but “if, then”. IF we could have this dynamic, THEN how might it look?
Something that Sir introduced me to on Monday was nyotaimori, or “body sushi”. It’s a new idea for me (at least to be exposed to in kink), but it’s not something I’m against. It’s new, interesting. Fun?
As a submissive, something that you learn is that each Dominant has their own way of “being” with you; each has their own “flavour” of BDSM. It doesn’t mean they won’t also want to know what works for you and explore what you enjoy too, just that they have their own style and way of doing things. For those of us like Shae and myself with multiple Dominant presences, you learn how to “be” with each one.
Sir JGood, I find, is very practical, but he’s not without his fanciful edge. As a former party host, Sir likes to entertain. With him and for him, I can be more entertaining – we bounce off of one another in our playful style.
Master Levi, ever the problemsolver, is more pragmatic. He’s fun too, but a brat isn’t just fun to be had for him; she’s also a problem to be solved.
At least he tries 😉
In her post yesterday, Shae asked a series of questions about objectification: Shae asked people how, if they had the chance to play with her, how they might objectify her Shae also asked us submissives among how we feel about objectification, and how we might be objectified. So I thought some about that, and then I dared to ask my two Dominant husbands how they might objectify both Shae and me. I shall address their individual answers first, then share my feelings on the subject (how appropriate?) below.
For Master Levi, Master said that no, he wouldn’t objectify either of us: Master said that “that’s not my style”, he also said that “I don’t think you’d enjoy it”. He referred to our attending past parties, when he has always treated me as a partner, rather than as property – that doesn’t mean to say that Master treated me as an equal in those settings, but that he doesn’t treat me as property. Master treats me as someone who obeys him, enthusiastically and by choice.
Referring to Shae, Master simply said “I don’t think I would want to”. Master values deep connections over occasional play sessions, he also expressed discomfort at the idea of playing with someone who has multiple sexual partners. Master also said he prefers a more pain-tolerant submissive and understands that Shae doesn’t enjoy receiving pain so much, which he said, “would ruin it for me” (MAster likes to know that his submissives enjoy what he does and aren’t just “going through the motions” for his benefit). It’s a simple mismatch, not every pairing works.
As for Sir JGood, Sir and I spent hours Tuesday night discussing hypothetical collars of green ribbon or silver chain. I was surprised that Sir jumped into collar-talk so soon, but I also understand it: in whatever way, a Dominant feels some carnal need to lay stakes on their property. They feel an intrinsic need to say “I own this”.
I did think to suggest that, in a hypothetical scenario, Sir might like to consider green sapphire – sapphire being our shared birthstone, and British racing green being Sir’s favourite colour. Master might also agree given that green accentuates my eyes, something he loves to accentuate. Too bad green sapphires are so expensive.
For Shae, Sir said that of our hypothetical product launch party – a Clone-a-willy style product – that Shae would be instructed to wear jingle bells attached to her piercings, that would be expected to ring when hands are shaken. If they don’t, Shae would be spanked. Shae would also be required to demonstrate the product made on behalf of her owners, and to narrate her experiences to potential investors.
But perhaps most interestingly, Sir said that Shae would be under my management, as his designated meet-and-greeterm a detail that surely surprised me. Sir did also say that he hoped he wouldn’t have to speak at such an event, and I think there was an internal sigh of relief that he didn’t suggest I speak on his behalf instead – just because I’ve presented (non-sexual) products before, doesn’t mean I want that pressure again.
So now, let’s talk about my feelings on the theme.
Master was surprised to learn that I’m not against objectification, but I think in certain ways and styles, he’s probably right, I would hate it. For example, if he objectified me in public, I would be more unforgiving about it: I might see it as him having a need to show off our relationship, and I would want to know why that was. As it stands, public scenes are a hard limit for me, because of the risk to minors and non-consenting adults.
In private, however, for example at a small, private party, with people who are knowledgeable and consenting, then I would likely be quite fine about it. I wouldn’t be reduced to that of a slut or sex doll, however, I find that blase – nothing against Shae or her Owners there, it’s just not a style for me. I have other, better uses; that of a maid, a handywoman, a greeter, a pet.
In unrelated conversations this evening, Sir did suggest Sally Ann Howes’ “Truly Scrumptious” dress for me, from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, made more revealing or of sheer fabrics. I told Sir that I would work on my pirouette pose over the weekend.
When it comes to objectification and my own kinks, I feel we have to cycle back to my own medical/scientific roleplay fantasy: I love being a “subject” and being subjected to “tests” for “research purposes”. Of course we’re talking about likely unethical, highly unprofessional practices here, but hey, that’s just part of the fun!
The Thoughts & Musings Of Mrs Wolfie 
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