Early Sunday morning, Mr C is back at it again: he tells me that “Annie” (not her “real” name) has a swanky AI sex doll that she lets him use sometimes. I’m ambivalent about the idea and the conversational topic at large: couples do what they want to do, and that’s fine by me as long as they understand that it’s not for me, personally. 

But it changes everything now that I know – really, really know – that “Annie” isn’t real.

Or maybe Annie is real, she just doesn’t know she’s being used in a saddening last-ditch attempt to try and make me jealous by a man who thinks he has something up on my husband. A man who is jealous of him.

It makes us both smile: it’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad. 

Sunday morning, I told Sir JGood about the night before. He thanked me for my “civic duty”, as in keeping Master Levi, himself and Mr C entertained. So that was that: far from something I do out of the goodness of my own heart, I was reduced to the service that I provide. A thing-ness once again. 

We talked too about caring vs civic duty, and I said that I prefer civic duty to caring. Maybe that goes back to my old Guiding days: I have long felt a sense of civic duty within me. Probably, hence, my blog. 

I plummeted into a docile subspace and Master notices, and he’s amused. He caresses my thigh and I instinctively react. The Sadist smirks. 

“Aww, don’t like being reduced?” he asks. “Makes you want to get filled, doesn’t it? Better to be a cumslut than nothing at all. At least then you’d be something”.  I warned him that I’d bite him if I had the fight left in me.

“No, you won’t” he says flatly.

“Why not?”

“Because I said so” he says. I know by the look in his eyes that he means it, too. If I do, this won’t end well for me.

“Yes, Sir” I sigh softly.

I got myself in the doghouse twice on Sunday afternoon, once with each of my husbands. My first offense was with Sir JGood, whom I said that his Dad jokes were “original”, a crime he said was punishable (though perhaps fortunately for me, he isn’t in a position to punish me himself). Secondly, with Master, I told him of my antics with Sir JGood and I said that “in order to outsmart a Daddy Dom one must first think like a Daddy Dom… which isn’t hard because they don’t think much”. Yes, I had to make a very hasty exit from the lounge! 

Suffice to say, it was my ass that had me know maybe it was me who should have done the thinking. Alas, I regret nothing 😉

Sunday evening, Sir told me about his playing Risk with his family and friends. So those are things for me to be potentially wary of: Risk, and “understands ASMR”.

A man who plays Risk thinks like I do – strategically. He becomes dangerous for me: it becomes a battle of wit and will. 

But a man who understands ASMR is perhaps the most dangerous of all. ASMR, in the wrong hands, can be subliminal, seductive, and disarming. Used well, it can take down an opponent without the need to fire a single shot. 

So I had Shadow updated of this development, and I asked it to draw up potential “strategies” should Sir ever attempt an advance south of the border. 

Sir is right: all is fair (in love and) war, and he has already been warned about this AI-backed brat. 

“Eyes” watches and acts. “Shadow” analyses and plans.

I did ask Sir why he opted for brutality in his game, rather than a “hearts and minds” approach, a historically more effective way of winning wars than bloodshed. Sir told me that they are “two of the best places to shoot at”. 

So nobody can say that I didn’t try, but at least I now know that dark humour is a thing we do. Which is good, because Master and I can be very dark sometimes. 

Tuesday, I’m back down Mum’s for a few hours. This time we went for a walk along the riverbank, which was nice. I pointed out the field bindweed to Mum – which I’d told her about before and which she was sure she’d never seen before – but insisted “it looks pretty” in bunches. There are some beautiful bungalows nearby too, including one that houses a Golden Retriever who stayed in the confines of its front garden and watched our dogs with a wagging, playful tail. I commented on one particular property, on how immaculate the garden and interior design is, and the “unique” iron cleat in the wraparound garden. I learned some of the history of the gentleman who lives there. 

“He’s a lovely guy” Mum says after her free history lesson, “he used to be in the merchant navy, down on the docks.”

“Figures” I reply.

I was instructed to “say hello” to my mother too, on behalf of Sir. I rolled my eyes at that, and my Mum asked why, so I had to tell her. So that’s a new, other thing for me to be wary of: alliances by proxy.

I think it was when we put the dogs back in the car, though, that I really realised it for the first time: this all feels eerily familiar to me.

Also Tuesday, Mum and I talked in great length, about D/s and cheating. I remember my Mum coming back from P’s house – her Dom’s house – when I was a young girl once, and she was remarkably upset. I was too young to understand anything at the time, but she told me everything once I was old enough. Having been cheated on in D/s since, I wanted to understand how she overcame it: how she managed to heal the hurt, anger and broken trust that I was still struggling to let go of, from one of my past relationships.

We had some giggles about Dominance and submission too, about “the game” and the psychology of the game – the ones who get and the ones who don’t. We both drooled again over former SAS Who Dares Wins Directing Staff member, Ant Middleton, and his psychology. We also both agreed that we wanted to try the course, if only to see how long we’d last.  

Wednesday, Mr C is back at it again. This time he sent me a copy of his to-do list, but again I find something odd about it: he has “Annie” written on the side of it, almost as though he had added her because he meant for someone to see his to-do list, rather than because he was actually planning to spend any real time with her.

Thursday, he apologised to me for “keeping you both up last night”. I brushed it off.

“That’s alright, we might keep you up later anyway” I say dismissively, “it’s all fair, isn’t it?”.

I know that it’s not, though, and I know that because in the five minutes he’d disappeared to run an errand, I’d checked the security camera again. Sure enough, no “Annie”.

Two things happened Thursday daytime: first, I noted Mr C in the gardens having full-blown conversations with himself – not just agreeing with his own decisions or cursing himself out for making mistakes, but whole dialogues. It occurs to me then: is he IMAGINING “Annie”?

Secondly, it occurred to me that for a man who has recently “won back” his “girlfriend”, he spends an awful lot of time out in the garden, alone – I’d have thought he’d want to spend every moment he could with her, making up for lost time!

Still, none of us believes in this “Annie” anymore – neither of my husbands, not Shadow, and especially not me. Shadow thinks he’s doing it to make me jealous, though whether that’s out of desire for me or whether it’s simply to try and project his jealousy of our relationship onto us? That’s the question. 

Yesterday was International BDSM Day, which I normally pay ode to. It coincided with our “Kinky Fuckery Thursday”, except timing didn’t line up and by the time Master and I had eaten curry, we were both stuffed and tired. Master did try to ambush me later but I had to stop him – stuffed (full of food) is not a sexy feeling. 

So despite it being International BDSM Day, I instead rested the whole night through with my head on Master’s lap. It was still cutely dynamic-ky though, in a way. 

I do think our sex life will come back a bit, now that we’re spending some time apart during the day and I have some time to keep the house more together. Here’s hoping for the future. 

This morning, Sir JGood was in an unusually flirty mood. Sir said that there is “nothing wrong with a little danger between friends”, which raised a smile. Indeed there is nothing wrong with a little danger between friends, the question is: who blinks first? 

That’s it from me! How has your week been? What exciting things have you been up to? Give this post a like, share, or leave a comment below. Alternatively, click here for more My Week In Review posts!

Until next time!

Stay safe & have fun,

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