Body in rebellion, mind in control.
Sunday
Not much to report. We both wanted sex, but Master Levi didn’t want me to “break yourself any further by trying to break me” (so much for sympathy). So instead, we enjoyed a mutual masturbation session. Achy parts aside, we both agreed that we’ll be doing that again — often.
Monday
By now, I’m thoroughly frustrated with the sense of uselessness that comes with my arm injury. I try to do things, but it’s no use: the cramp sets in and I’m bedridden again. I haven’t even sorted the food shop, a weekly chore of mine.
Sunday night I noticed a plug socket spark, so I decided to investigate it before it started a fire. I saw no sign of damage so I turned off the socket, unplugged the extension lead, and went to bed.
Monday afternoon, I decided to investigate further. Pulling the plugs out with my arm the way it is was hard — each plug felt like a fight to the death. I feel weak in my left arm, which makes me feel weak in general, and that’s incredibly frustrating for me.
No fault was found with either the socket or the extension lead, though I noticed the external lights were dimmer than usual. So I stepped outside and discovered that a fox had chewed through the wire. Sure enough, that seems to have been the cause of the sparking.
Tuesday
Mum visited unexpectedly — well, semi-unexpectedly anyway. She wanted to lend me a heated body warmer to see if it would help my shoulder, so I invited her in for a cup of tea.
That evening, Sir JGood called me a “switch” again. I was frustrated — I thought we were done with that conversation now?
I realised that the only way to make him see that I’m not a switch was to play tough. But in order to show him what he’d lost in his little gamble, I’d have to reveal my hand.
I told Sir JGood that I’d been wondering what it would be like to have two Masters — whether I was ready for that yet. I said that the last time I “switched” was because he asked me to — even needed me to — to help him resolve a question on the forum. I said that it was more service topping than switching.
Sir made a quick strategic retreat. I had to smile.
Later, I spoke to Master Levi about it.
“If I was going to call him Master, it would be Master Valkyries — Master Good makes me think of his son,” I said. I realised after that that wasn’t the first time I’d used that name.
Wednesday
I made an interesting observation this morning: the HMS Ark Royal rests off the coast of Gibraltar, the same place La Sumisa was supposedly found, and by a Royal Navy petty officer, no less. So perhaps she’s less a cursed pirate ship, more formidable aircraft carrier? Little wonder some people think her a force to be reckoned with.
Today is Master’s birthday, so he’s taking the day off. It’s nice and relaxed — or at least it started that way. I still hadn’t done the grocery shop, so I made it a priority first thing.
I noticed that ASDA have released their Christmas delivery slots already, so I tried to make a plan with the family — I wanted to get organised and avoid any clashes. I thought I was helping. I wasn’t ready for what came next.
Mum called me in a flood of angry tears: she told me that she knew I was trying to take the pressure off heer, but I was actually piling it on. She also said she’d been trying to protect me from the details of her surgery, and maybe she shouldn’t have.
Right then and there I was taken back to my adolescent years, sitting alone in my bedroom with Britney Spears’ “Overprotected” blasting on repeat. It was my anthem, the song that helped me realise just how overprotected I was, and how badly I needed to get out..
I was proud of myself, though. I didn’t apologise to Mum — I just listened and let her explain herself. I was upset and angry, but I’m an adult now, and a smart woman too. I know the world isn’t all rainbows and kittens.
Plus, I was only trying to protect her too.
So I’ve decided that from now on, I won’t visit for Christmas dinner anymore: it’s too much pressure on her and she puts all that pressure on herself. I know she loves to entertain, but it’s stressful for all of us when things go wrong. The biggest priority for her this year will be recovering after her surgery.
Our biggest priority is feeding my father-in-law, who has possible onset dementia and once tried to cook a turkey crown under the grill. After that, I’ll see my family for a few hours before or after Christmas, when the pressure is lower.
Later, Master decided he wanted an impromptu birthday party, so I spent part of Wednesday tidying and ordering food. It was a nice evening — just Master’s father and his friend, Lewis. Lewis and I ended up having a lengthy chat — about first aid, of all things.
Sir is sending something for me to review next week, so he wanted to check my address. He also looked up my street on Google Maps, for which I teased him about stalking. He’s seen Mr C now too, so he knows who keeps me talking for hours at a time.
Quietly, seeing my neighbour captured on Google Street View has become motivation for me to get in better shape. After all, what better motivation than being immortalised looking less than presentable for all the world to see?
Thursday
In the early hours, I had a chat with Mister Valkyries about my thoughts — and about him possibly becoming my second Master. I was nervous; those three little typing dots never lasted so long!
He said there was “no question of if” he’d have me, and that “anything Valkyries was better than anything Good.” Alas, he needs some time and wants to talk to Master Levi first. I fully understand — it’s only protocol.
Of course, this isn’t the first time I’ve been discussed as an acquisition. As a submissive, it’s something you learn to live with: you’re human, but also property — a kind of human-property. Sure, your feelings matter, but any Dominant worth their salt will already know what yours are.
I asked Master Levi to speak with Sir JGood, so that we can get this conversation going. It’s nerve-racking, but necessary: it matters to me that my partners respect my husband and my marriage, so it’s only right that they be respected in return.
That evening brought some silliness with Sir JGood and me discussing sexual health. I mentioned that one side effect of the mini pill is a higher risk of UTIs, so I always keep cystitis drinks on standby. Sir suggested I skip my repeat prescription — a nod to our shared breeding kink — and I told him I’d simply ask to go back on the one that makes men run ten feet in the opposite direction (Cerazette) instead. Same result, different method.
Sir said I couldn’t swap them out, and I told him that wasn’t written anywhere. So sad. Too bad. Nevermind.
For my fellow subs and brats: never let them know your next move 😉
Sir said he’d have to find other ways to calm me down, and I replied that sounded like “a sliding scale between cuddles and ketamine.” Sir said there were “interesting possibilities in between.” Oh dear God — the redux.
At this point, I’m convinced the man’s less Christian Grey and more Dexter Morgan.
Friday
So much has happened today — fun, scary, fun again. I asked Master Levi how his conversation with Valkyries had gone, and he said nothing’s confirmed yet. I don’t doubt it will happen, they both think highly of each other — and of me. The nerves have shifted into excitement now: I’m truly happy with Master Valkyries, I only hope he’s happy with me.
Sir and I talked about business, about me being the “boss” of my blog and about him working for me. Sir, ever the wordsmith that he is, tried for some wordplay
Management
Evolution
Revolutionary
Gathering
Extraordinary
Resourceful
Supporters
The layout of his words doesn’t slip me by. MERGERS? Ha!
I’m still not totally sure who’s really acquiring who.
A question on the Lovehoney Forum made me growl: a member asked about using a clicker (as in a dog-training clicker) in BDSM play. I’m not worried about Master Levi; he’ll probably joke about it and then move on. But Mister Valkyries? What I’m about to serve up is a delicious morsel of information he didn’t have to work for — and that’s what makes me growl.
Mister Valkyries likes those little morsels: each one serves like a little puzzle piece in my eventual surrender to his Dominant control. The more I hold back, the harder he has to work for it — at least until I end up offering that information publicly in a forum answer.
And then Valkyries rubs his hands with glee.
I admitted I’d thought about clicker play before: being a dog owner, part of me wondered what it would feel like to be… you know… trained. Not as a slave necessarily, but in a primal, pet-like way.
Sir joked that “good girl” would take on a whole new meaning, and I growled again. I remembered how Master’s friend Shaun used to call his dog a “good girl” in my presence, and how some hidden part of me wanted to be her.
Shaun always screamed “Dominant” to me — not in a Christian Grey way, but in a quiet, well-dressed, composed way that commands respect without demanding it. Perhaps, had we known one another (and if I were less feisty and bratty), we might have even had some fun.
Still, I’ll never apologise for my wicked sense of humour, nor would Master (or Mister) want me to.
Saturday
Friday night into Saturday, Sir and I had a long chat about relationships. It was sweet — we talked about me meeting his mother, and him meeting mine.
Then Sir dropped a bombshell: if he were single, he might return to the swinging lifestyle. My inner monologue slammed on the brakes.
I have no problems being friends with swingers, but I’d have a problem with being in a relationship with one.
First, swingers aren’t typically compatible with me emotionally anyway: I’m someone who thrives on deep, meaningful relationships where sexual exploration happens within the relationship, not through casual encounters outside of it. I need a secure emotional connection to feel desire, and that desire wanes when I feel my partners are being frivolous with my love.
Second — okay, so we do need to talk about STIs. Right now, both Master Levi and I are screened annually for HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhoea as an NHS standard (we’re not screened for anything else as neither of us has been with anyone else). When we take on a new partner in a “closed” polycule, we require a clean full panel at the start of the relationship, and then a similar schedule thereafter.
But even if only one partner swings, it increases the risk for everyone involved. The “safe and secure” foundation is gone, and a full, regular work-up becomes mandatory for all. That feels unfair on someone who doesn’t swing; someone like Master Levi, who doesn’t want anyone else because a relationship with me is more than enough for him. Why should he have to face the stress and anxiety of more frequent testing if he doesn’t want a part of the “fun”?
As the “vee” in this dynamic, it’s my job to protect both of them. I’ve always sworn to Master Levi that I’d protect him from my other partners’ decisions, just as I’d protect them from his. So, if one partner decides to swing, I have to make decisions that could affect what our connection looks like, going forward.
Finally, I’m still a bit tender from having my heart ripped out a little over a year ago. I thought I was in a secure, loving, “closed” polyamorous relationship, only to discover (in a blog post, no less) that B had tried to arrange BDSM play and photography behind my back. I tried to stay, but I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d been “collected” — like we weren’t enough for him.
I don’t want to go through that again; I deserve to be where I feel like I am enough — where I feel valued as a partner, not kept like a toy.
I know Sir has said he’s “not out of retirement” yet and as such this is all purely hypothetical. But hypothetical or not, it’s good to understand where we all stand, and before anyone gets too attached.
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Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
The Thoughts & Musings Of Mrs Wolfie 
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