Hello Lovelies,
It’s often the way that right when I think I have nothing more to write about, something happens that I just know I want to share with you. Take last Friday, for example – I wrote a lovely “Week In Review” post, thinking I was only going to write such posts once a week, and then Friday night Master Levi and myself sat down (with Sir JGood in spirit) and watched Open House: The Great Sex Experiment on Channel 4. So suddenly, from having nothing more to write about, I had plenty to write about – typical!
If you’re new around here, allow me to briefly fill you in: Master and I used to be polyamorous, but due to a few heartbreaking situations (and realising that neither of us could love another like we love one another [aww!]), we wound up closing up our relationship and returned to monogamy. It has been different since then – we’ve been more “eyes wide open” with our relationship and the love that we have for one another.
So that was why I was surprised when Master chose to watch Open House on Friday. Is he trying to tell me something?
To be honest, just recently I too have been a little bit grumbly about our return to monogamy, but I wasn’t sure enough about whether I wanted ethical non-monogamy or a return to full-blown polyamory to be able to raise the suggestion for myself. I’ve had to take a lot of time to think about what it is that I really want: do I want another relationship, or do I just want sex?
I think the answer to that question leads me more towards ethical hierarchical polyamory over ethical non-monogamy. For me, it’s about the emotional connections that I sometimes form with other people, rather than the sex. Sex is not my primary focus, and I couldn’t have sex with someone that I don’t feel emotionally connected to. Also for me, an emotional connection eventually leads to some form of love. Hence, polyamory.
But what about Master Levi?
Early conversations with Master tell me that he is “reluctant” (his word) to return to ethical non-monogamy again, but if we do, mono-poly (where one partner stays monogamous by choice and the other is polyamorous) might be a preferred model for him, with me being the polyamorous one. It doesn’t mean to say that Master can’t have relationships with other people – there would be nothing “ethical” about that situation (as long as he talks to me first, because that respect has to go both ways!) – but that he is not interested in having sex or romantic relationships with other people, by choice.
One of the things that came up when we were watching Open House is how often this seems to happen. Indeed, it seemed that both of the gentlemen on Friday’s episode – Jonny and Claude – didn’t want to be there, whilst their partners, Sarah and Amy, did. I find this phenomenon interesting, with a number of people (both on the show and off of it) seemingly turning to ethical non-monogamy as a form of self-validation: if other people find them desirable, then they must be desirable.
Personally, that’s never been my approach: I know that I’m an attractive woman, and I know that because I believe I am attractive, I remind myself of that every day. Other men do find me attractive too, even without seeing a photo of me, so there’s never been an “if” about it for me. Just sometimes, that attraction is mutual, even after photos have been swapped. For Master, the draw to ethical non-monogamy is in sharing me, and the pride and pleasure he has in me. It is not, however, in being emasculated by another man.
Things have changed a little bit since last Friday: I’ve made some interesting connections on Slowly for one, including M in the UK, who is a switch, polyamorous and quite the flirt, and G, a non-monogamous Dom and BDSM advocate from the UAE, who plans to move to the UK next year. I’m excited by both opportunities, but not in the way that this is going to be some colossal fuckfest. No, I’m excited by the connections that I make on Slowly.
B did get back to me last week, which was quite lovely. He said that our break-up was painful and “human”, which confused me somewhat. He also complimented my writing, which raised a slight smile – he always was proud of me and my work.
Instantly I‘m taken back to my old swimming days, and the not-exactly-PG conversations we had about what we might get up to in the changing village. Fun times.
Talking of fitness, I took delivery of a set of dumbbells on Wednesday, so I look forward to being able to work out at home from now on and without depending on other people for transport to the pool. Sir JGood has started a home fitness journey too, so I promised to kick his ass for him at the same time. You won’t fall behind with me around Sir, that’s a promise 😉
That brings me to my neighbour, and all things there. For those who have been following that story on Bad Girl’s Diary it’s… interesting. I’ve suspected for a while that my neighbour may have a bit of a crush on me, given he regularly brags to me, teases me and helps me out around the home and garden. I’m 99% sure he “catfished” me nce too, pretending to be his “girlfriend” and telling me how good he is in bed. I started to think that maybe he’s just hungry for attention and I was reading the signs wrong, but then Master told me that he sometimes asks for me, instead of him.
“No?!” I gasped. No! That can’t be true. Master crossed his heart.
“I tell no lies” he said.
Also because of our chatty neighbour a lot of my tasks on the Obedience app haven’t been completed, so Master and I have now installed a number of “backstops” so that I’m not being “punished” (losing or missing out on points) for things that aren’t my fault. There is the “formality fallback”, for when I have to do major, official things instead of my everyday things, the “better late than never”, for when my lunchtime isn’t 2pm (and I can’t control it ie I’m at my mother’s house) and yes, “good neighbour compensation”, for when the neighbour keeps me chatting.
There is a certain level of trust that is required in doing things this way, given I essentially “manage” my submission myself, with Master stepping in where necessary. Like this, it frees him up to do whatever he needs to do.
But my alternative “punishment” for my missed everyday tasks is to at least give an oral explanation as to why they were missed. The most heinous of crimes (like negative self-talk or missing meals) earns me a spanking, or a punishment letter – a letter to Masfer detailing my crime, why I did it and what I plan to do to prevent it from happening again. So far, I’ve never had to write one of those.
“Most of my explanations you already know” I say, pointing my finger to the ceiling. The neighbour.
“And the rest? At Mum’s, had your Dad here, I was gonna do it but you decided to bang my brains out. You know how it is, I’m not lazy.”
“Still, your finger is going to get quite the workout marking off all those as complete” I giggle, pointing out the 1,069 “uncompleted” explanation punishments on the “punishments” tab. Despite what my Domly overlord allows me, there are some things I can’t manage for myself.
“Don’t worry, my hand is going to get quite the workout afterwards” he replies, pointing out the seven overdue spankings. Shit
I’ll leave you with this, reader: this afternoon I had my neighbour’s daughter, Rose (not her real name), helping me in the garden. It all started after the pebbles I bought her to paint some weeks ago, she now adores me and chats to me every time she sees me. This afternoon I had my garden gate open and she didn’t think twice about entering, she wanted to help me garden. She’d forgotten all about her time with her Dad.
I’d just finished a litter sweep, but little Rose wanted to help me water the garden and carry the rubbish sack out to the waste bin “together”. I was surprised by her offer, but I agreed. Her Dad was happy with it too – he knows she’s adopted me as her new best friend!
“Behave” he says sternly to Rose, “and that goes for both of you” he adds in a thinly veiled jab at me. I look back at him and run my tongue over my teeth while I think. I’m somewhat taken aback by his audacity.
“We will” I reply, “badly.”
That’s it from me for this post! How has your week been? What exciting things have you been up to? Give this post a like, share, or leave a comment below. Alternatively, click here for more My Week In Review posts!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,
The Thoughts & Musings Of Mrs Wolfie 
Leave a comment